Facing Our Fears
We all have things in life that we are afraid of, whether it is a fear of public speaking, a fear of flying, or a fear of going to the dentist. The fears we have could be the result of a past humiliating experience, a past trauma, fear of the unknown, some genetic predisposition, or any combination of these factors. It is a part of each our human experiences to be afraid of a few or several things, and some things are definitely scarier than others. It is much easier, as we all know, to avoid facing something that we are afraid of rather than facing it directly.
One thing that many people forget, though, is how good it feels (afterward usually) to face something that we are afraid of. An example of this is being frightened of going on a roller coaster, and then afterward wanting to go on it again because it turned out to be fun. On some level, we fear that we won't really be able to handle things if we face something that we are afraid of head-on. Or, worse, we think about the worst case scenario, which really paralyzes us and prevents us from taking action. This is where anxiety takes form and it gets a grip on us. Or even worse, we feel like nobody would really understand our fears and so we keep them to ourselves, causing us to feel misunderstood, isolated, lonely, or even crazy.
Something else that we can do, which I believe is more common, is be very critical of ourselves for even having these fears to begin with, which sounds like "I shouldn't be afraid of this", "I'm just being a big baby", or "I will never be able to deal with anything." Being critical of ourselves makes us feel even more isolated and lonely, which makes us much less likely to face our fear at all.
One sign that you are feeling afraid of something is if you feel angry. Feeling angry feels more powerful than feeling afraid. If you are in a situation where you are afraid of getting ripped off, for example, that can come across on your part as anger. Or maybe you feel afraid that you are going to get hurt in a relationship, for example. That can come across as anger as well.
Talking about your fears with someone that you trust, whether it be a good friend or a therapist can really take the wind out of the sail of your fears. It won't completely take away the fear, but it could give you the gentle nudge that you need to give you the strength to face some of your fears. We can't do anything that is difficult alone. We need to rally in our support network and be able to lean on them, especially when things get difficult.
One thing that many people forget, though, is how good it feels (afterward usually) to face something that we are afraid of. An example of this is being frightened of going on a roller coaster, and then afterward wanting to go on it again because it turned out to be fun. On some level, we fear that we won't really be able to handle things if we face something that we are afraid of head-on. Or, worse, we think about the worst case scenario, which really paralyzes us and prevents us from taking action. This is where anxiety takes form and it gets a grip on us. Or even worse, we feel like nobody would really understand our fears and so we keep them to ourselves, causing us to feel misunderstood, isolated, lonely, or even crazy.
Something else that we can do, which I believe is more common, is be very critical of ourselves for even having these fears to begin with, which sounds like "I shouldn't be afraid of this", "I'm just being a big baby", or "I will never be able to deal with anything." Being critical of ourselves makes us feel even more isolated and lonely, which makes us much less likely to face our fear at all.
One sign that you are feeling afraid of something is if you feel angry. Feeling angry feels more powerful than feeling afraid. If you are in a situation where you are afraid of getting ripped off, for example, that can come across on your part as anger. Or maybe you feel afraid that you are going to get hurt in a relationship, for example. That can come across as anger as well.
Talking about your fears with someone that you trust, whether it be a good friend or a therapist can really take the wind out of the sail of your fears. It won't completely take away the fear, but it could give you the gentle nudge that you need to give you the strength to face some of your fears. We can't do anything that is difficult alone. We need to rally in our support network and be able to lean on them, especially when things get difficult.