Dr. Robert A. Vargas

Slowing Down

2012-01-17T15:37:00.001-08:00

With the advancement of technology, it is easy to be connected to and focused on our emails, voice mails, texts, Facebook page, etc. There's something to be said, though, about not paying attention to these things. After a long day, I make time and create the space to slow down. It is easy to keep the day going by staying connected to emails and our cell phones, but I believe this robs us of enjoying our lives and can easily turn into a perceived necessity or something we feel we can't live without. When I go out for my lunch break, I keep my phone in my office and I take in all that is around me: the sights, the sounds, the smells, the sunshine. It helps me to feel energized, but more important, it helps me to feel connected and grounded.

"A Good Night’s Sleep Isn’t a Luxury; It’s a Necessity", from the New York Times on May 30, 2011

2011-10-11T14:17:00.000-07:00

"Its benefits include improvements in concentration, short-term memory, productivity, mood, sensitivity to pain and immune function." This article is a good reminder, especially when sleep has lost some of its value over time.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/31/health/31brody.html?emc=eta1

Into the underworld

2011-08-09T16:48:00.001-07:00

"A journey into the underworld never turns out to be what we feared, and at its core the darkness becomes the light."

From "Broken Open" by Elizabeth Lesser

Facing Our Fears

2011-05-26T10:59:00.001-07:00

We all have things in life that we are afraid of, whether it is a fear of public speaking, a fear of flying, or a fear of going to the dentist. The fears we have could be the result of a past humiliating experience, a past trauma, fear of the unknown, some genetic predisposition, or any combination of these factors. It is a part of each our human experiences to be afraid of a few or several things, and some things are definitely scarier than others. It is much easier, as we all know, to avoid facing something that we are afraid of rather than facing it directly.

One thing that many people forget, though, is how good it feels (afterward usually) to face something that we are afraid of. An example of this is being frightened of going on a roller coaster, and then afterward wanting to go on it again because it turned out to be fun. On some level, we fear that we won't really be able to handle things if we face something that we are afraid of head-on. Or, worse, we think about the worst case scenario, which really paralyzes us and prevents us from taking action. This is where anxiety takes form and it gets a grip on us. Or even worse, we feel like nobody would really understand our fears and so we keep them to ourselves, causing us to feel misunderstood, isolated, lonely, or even crazy.

Something else that we can do, which I believe is more common, is be very critical of ourselves for even having these fears to begin with, which sounds like "I shouldn't be afraid of this", "I'm just being a big baby", or "I will never be able to deal with anything." Being critical of ourselves makes us feel even more isolated and lonely, which makes us much less likely to face our fear at all.

One sign that you are feeling afraid of something is if you feel angry. Feeling angry feels more powerful than feeling afraid. If you are in a situation where you are afraid of getting ripped off, for example, that can come across on your part as anger. Or maybe you feel afraid that you are going to get hurt in a relationship, for example. That can come across as anger as well.

Talking about your fears with someone that you trust, whether it be a good friend or a therapist can really take the wind out of the sail of your fears. It won't completely take away the fear, but it could give you the gentle nudge that you need to give you the strength to face some of your fears. We can't do anything that is difficult alone. We need to rally in our support network and be able to lean on them, especially when things get difficult.

Research suggests that being easier on ourselves and accepting our perceived flaws may be the first step toward better overall health.

2011-03-04T12:32:00.000-08:00

An interesting article in the New York Times from February 28, 2011.

http://nyti.ms/foOHha

When you need to lift your mood

2010-11-23T17:10:00.001-08:00

Something you can do to lift your own mood can only take a few minutes of your time. The next time you are feeling down, or frustrated, or downright angry or sad about something that has happened, write down ten things in your life that you are grateful for. And, instead of writing something like "my health" or "my friends", try to be as specific as possible. For example, instead of "my health", write something specific like "I am grateful that I am more healthy these days as a result of making more conscious eating habits". And instead of writing "my friends", write something specific like "I am grateful that I have a friend like Joe who has always been a source of lasting friendship and humor." After you have written down ten things in your life that you are grateful for, I guarantee that your mood will be different by that point.

Do something different

2010-06-20T19:37:00.000-07:00

This weekend, instead of driving to get a Saturday morning scone and coffee, I decided to walk there instead. I thought it would be a good chance to do something different and to get some exercise in the process. It was a good hour-long walk to the coffee shop, and another hour-long walk back. Doing something different each day helps me to keep a fresh outlook on things. There's definitely something nice and comfortable about going to the same favorite restaurants and ordering the same favorite dishes, but there's also something about trying something new and going out of your comfort zone. You never know what you might have been missing out on.

When you have a difficult decision to make

2010-03-14T18:39:00.001-07:00

As we go through life, we are often faced with rather challenging decisions. It can become very tangling and confusing as we think of the pros and cons of each decision. Having to close one door as we open another involves a sense of surrender as well as an openness to receiving. If you find you are unable to make a decision, it is helpful to think of someone in your life whom you find to be incredibly wise and grounded. What would that person recommend that you do? Having people in our lives who are wise, grounded, humble, and humorous can really ease the burden of life's difficult decisions. Surround yourself in the comfort of their wisdom and believe that you are capable of making the right decision in your own life.

A beautiful and inspiring quote...

2009-12-04T12:16:00.000-08:00

"A human being is a part of the whole called by us 'the universe,' a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest--a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening the circle of understanding and compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

Albert Einstein

Focus on your breath

2009-09-03T10:20:00.000-07:00

I was at the gym yesterday working out on the elliptical machine. My heart rate was up to 130 after about twenty minutes of exercise, and I wanted to see how much I could lower my heart rate by just focusing on my breath. When I focused on my breath, I would inhale for three seconds and then exhale for three seconds, over and over again. Within about thirty seconds, I was able to lower my heart rate to 120. Of course, I would forget to focus on my breath after awhile and my heart rate would be back up to 130 or even a little bit higher. But again I would focus on my breath and get my heart rate down to 120.

Remember the power of a simple breathing exercise, and how it can easily and quickly help you to feel more calm, relaxed, grounded, and energized.

Karma

2009-07-16T15:14:00.001-07:00

I recently did a favor for a good friend of mine and, right afterward, I went to a local coffeeshop to get my morning cup. I realized, when I got to the register, that I didn't have enough money on me to pay for it. The man behind me overheard me talking to the barista about this, and he offered to pay for my coffee for me. I was so grateful for this random act of kindness. Then, I thought about karma, and how I had just helped my friend. I am comforted by the idea that kind gestures come back to you in various forms. What I put out there came right back to me.

A memorable quote

2009-05-13T16:32:00.000-07:00

"Making friends with our own demons and their accompanying insecurity leads to a very simple, understated relaxation and joy."

From "When Things Fall Apart" by
Pema Chodron

Self-care

2009-03-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

This past Friday, I made it to the gym after a full day at work. I was a little tired when I got there, but I knew that I would feel better afterward. And I did. I think that getting to the gym is "half of the work", and doing your work out is the other half of the work. It isn't always easy (in fact, it usually isn't!) to squeeze in exercise during a busy week, but I remind myself that it is more important than ever to go to the gym during a busy week. It is good for my physical health and mental well-being, and the benefits fully outweigh the hour it takes from my day.

New Year's Resolution

2009-01-10T16:08:00.000-08:00

I don't usually make New Year's resolutions, because I don't believe in waiting for the start of the new year to begin a life-changing intention. But this year I have decided to dedicate myself to regular yoga classes. I have found yoga to be a very useful tool, and helps bring out the best in me. It is in the stillness and quiet where I can continue to feel grounded and energized. I don't think yoga is for everyone though. What helps bring out the best in you? How can you incorporate this more into your daily life?

"Happy" Holidays

2008-12-14T11:24:00.000-08:00

As I prepare myself for the coming holiday season, I catch myself trying to find the "perfect" gift for my loved ones. Then I realize that there is no real "perfect" gift, and this realization helps bring things into focus. What is your goal for the holidays this year? To connect with loved ones? To have a relaxing holiday? To stay within your budget? To keep things simple?

When you find yourself feeling overwhelmed during the holidays, focus on your goal. This can help keep things in perspective for you, especially when it feels like the holidays are becoming to be chaotic.